never let you emotions get the best of you

i wish i never met her/i wish i never introduced myself/i wish i never got her number/i wish i never asked her out/i wish she never said yes/i wish i never think of her/i wish she was never on my mind/i wish i never had this feeling/i wish i never was who i am/i wish is was easier than this/i wish i didnt depend on her for my happiness/i wish that i dont fall in love/i wish that she would love me/i wish i had no heart/

i never wanted to fall in love, but fightin the feeling its getting too much, i cant be mad, i have no right to be, i measure time as the periods between her and i meeting, but i know i shouldnt live that way, i want to change who i am, but then i shouldnt have to change for anyone. i wish i were more brave, i wish i wasnt shy, i wish i didnt fear the concequences of my own actions. how does one deny their feelings, when everyone says thats how you know what love it, my view of love has completely changed, if im suppose to just "feel" it...am i not suppose to trust my heart. i never wanted to get this deep in, i never wanted to fall, i was happy where i was, but i wanted more. i guess its the selfishness in my heart. always wanting things for myself. ive always believed that nothing is impossible...but as i continue on, im starting to believe that impossible exisits, ive learned to be alone and not lonely. ive learned not to rush, ive learned to not to give my all, ive heard all the cliches, ive listened to every lesson, ive heard all the advice, its forever a mystery. ive sacrificed my life...ive sacrificed my happiness, ive wished happiness for her, can someone pray and hope that i too can have happiness in my life. in all aspects of my life im happy, content.
im sorry, to all those who told me, dont make her my happiness, but all i can think about is her and being with her...and it makes me smile. if feel that its coming down to the wire for me, i never wanted to be in soo deep...but my heart longs to be here and i want to fall it love, i want to take that leap, i want to take that step, i want to just grab hold, pull close, then just let it all go.