ok this sucks...
ive been listening to jason mraz's song "im yours" all morning and pretty much spiralling myself into a slight depression. more of a mood...depression is too harsh of an analysis. its a great song, but reminds me of a task i need to accomplish. for myself. not for anyone else. my tragic flaw, that i live with if i was some kinda Shakespearian character, i cant follow my own advice. and it good fuckin advice. and not to say that i need to be told what to do, more like i need that nudge. my best friend, usually does that for me, but at the present moment shes not here. physically. i mean i dont need her physically to do what i need to do, but i need to just have her here as a somewhat moral support. nothing fixes anything better that a loving and caring hug from a good friend.
ahh, you maybe asking, what is this task that is soo daunting that CMC cant handle it? wouldnt you like to know. just know, i dont fear alot of things...possibly two things. if u know me, you know those two things. remember i said. "life isnt really that hard...." well i really wish i could listen to myself right now, what i have to do, isnt so hard. not to worried about the consequences...just doing the task and bringing it to the table so to speak. my hands clam up and get cold. i shudder from within, my head drops. lack of confidence. prolly. but then i have this overwhelming feeling of just wanting to get it over with. wheres that confidence when i need it. i need that swag back. i really dont wanna ask for help...i needs a nudge...i need that push...someone PUSH ME!!!!!!!
"i wont hesi-tate, no more, no more, it can not wait, Im your's"
-"FUCK YOU CHRISTIAN!"
-"Thanks man, i need that"
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