im airin out dirty laundry. some of this stuff, ive let go...some i havent. if u know me well you should kno the difference. none of this stuff is really new, cuz everything thats happened recently to me, ive delt with face to face. its mostly old stuff. not using any names or nething really close to it...im just refering to people as them/he/she...etc...
-my friends family hates me...i think they still do? i dont even kno if i them call them my friend ne more cuz i dont even see them, its been years since i been to their house. any way, long long long ago, apparently i hurt them soo much that they told their parents, lookin back on the situation and how much of a friend i was to them, i cant believe that could have possibly been beginning of the end. any way from that point again, i knew their parents always had it out for me. like i was the most horrible person in the world. then again, back then i was a different person, i cared too much of making everyone happy, except myself. i might have possibly been a bad influence on them. back then. all in all, when i think about it, i had a torrid past, yet there were times when we actually did have fun...but those are long gone. i was often very welcome at their family's house. and now if i would see their parents around, i would just act werid. lets just say, they were a VERY traditional filipino family. i do come from a traditional filipino family also, but my family was very lax and we have really embraced this "american" culture, not forgetting our heritage, but i just couldnt fit into that.
-this is more recently....loyalty?
ive met some people in the industry thats helped my lil group get off the ground. thats great and all. im highly appreciative of it. but there were just some groups that would not even give us the time of day. i seriously was the annoying promoter hittin them up, askin for them to host or what not. fastforward a year, now that we got a lil heat...now they wanna fux with us. i understand that we were really nothing bout a year ago. but due to the fact that they refused or basically ignored us, fuck that why should i want to work with ya'll. so i DO thank the other groups that helped us out. many props to ya'll
the flipside, i did have other groups who helped us and we helped them. but now it seems like they are too big to just even kick it or even try to do a party with us. everytime i ask if they wanna just on with us, i get an excuse. i thoughts we were cool? like honestly...its like they are too big to fux with us. but they will call me to tell me they have this artist and that artist, this dj and that dj....but they wont hire any of my djs, but have the nerve to ask me to promote for them. oh hell naw. its just a werid fucked up industry.
-i'll admit i can be insensitive at times, but just being a normal everyday human being i'll understand that things can really be difficult for anyone. so i'll take back things. ive met some people who are just absolutely insensitive, yet when something happens to them...they want all the attention on them and they pull that "im really emotional" card. give me that respect when things i cant handle get to me and just listen to me...hear me out. i will surely return the respect. a friend of mine said he didnt really share much personal stuff because the one person he could trust wasnt there when he needed them the most. i totally understand that, i may rave and rant and complain about something, but its called venting...dont simply tell me to get over it. i will, eventually, but im actaully calling for someone to just listen and simpathise (sp?) with me. i will get over it, really, but just listen and maybe you can relate. thank you
so this one person who i thought i can confide in during a really frustrating time...told me to get over it. without event trying to understand it. ok i'll admit, i did not let this go. i judge my friendships on who was there and still there at time when i FELT at my lowest. they duked it out with me and if we got out of it without casualties...i do consider them one of my closest friends and someone i trust. but basically...that person who i thought i could talk too, basically turned it into something about themselves. in a time when i was hurting and frustrated. moving on, ive learned that person always does that, turns it into something about them. on another instance, (this may get confusing cuz im not using names nore the situation directly) one set of my friends were comforting a friend and the other friend was there....while the group was trying to console and listen to the sad friend, the other friend turned or TRIED to turn it into their time. if that isnt attention whoring, i dunno what is.
any way...i think my laundry is done...and my brains smell like my mexican cuzins...hahahah
see i always can make myself smile!!
"can i kick it...yes you can"
donate to diabetes research!!!
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